Funny quotes about work

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

I can’t sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

My advice is, never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time. Collar him!

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.

It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.